She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
