If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
