Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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