I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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