guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
