I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Randomize
