How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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