well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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