I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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