Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
