3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
