I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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