We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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