i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
