3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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