as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
