his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
There r osticjed everywhere
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
