We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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