Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
