2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
