is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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