I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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