He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
