Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
