Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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