I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize