Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
3 2 1 whiskey
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize