Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
