Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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