So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Randomize