The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
