I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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