im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize