the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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