What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
