I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
