I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
