he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
