I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
