Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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