you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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