when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
now i know why i became what i already was.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize