why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I got inside last night via doggy door
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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