Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
That accounts for only three of the penises
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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