The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
