ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
