please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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