I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
