Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
being pregnant is like rehab
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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