She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
