You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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