I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
