Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You need Xanax blowdarts
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
