Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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