He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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