I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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