Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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