WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
