i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
