Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Randomize
