were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
