im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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